


I don’t know how to love you

by orphan_account



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-07 22:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Set after 3x13. Cyrus realizes that he likes T.J and a guilty, miserable T.J tells his sister about the events of the day and how he feels about a certain Cyrus Goodman. Amber reveals some things about herself too. And Andi is confused because she’s not jealous of Amber...but of Jonah. And Buffy tries not to look jealous when Marty introduces her to his girlfriend.





	1. Classic T.J

**T.J KIPPEN**

I messed up...again. Cyrus was counting on me and I messed up...again. Classic T.J! Instead of getting a picture in an awesome costume with Cyrus Goodman, I got one with Kira...with a less awesome costume. This was going to plague my thoughts forever. I hated doing that to Cyrus but...Kira was starting to suspect that something was up. And I didn’t need her telling Cyrus that I had big fat crush on him. If Cyrus was going to find out I wanted it to come from my mouth. I wanted to be the one to tell him. And also I didn’t need the basketball team finding out that their captain was g...g...ga-God damnit I couldn’t even say it! I didn’t know why but I had always felt embarrassed for...for being gay. Maybe the fact that my parents were straight up homophobic...maybe that was the reason. It looked as if my chances of ever telling Cyrus about my feelings were now...gone. Cyrus probably hated me now. He probably never wanted to talk to me ever again. 

After costume day I headed back home. I went inside the house and headed to my room. There I took off my shoes and stared at the sunglasses...my costume that I should have worn. I sighed and took of the costume I was wearing. I changed into a T-shirt and some jogging pants. I sighed and headed to Amber’s room who sat on her bed listening to music. Lots of people didn’t expect this about Amber but...she was a big rock fan...and my sister, nobody expected that either. Even Jonah Beck was so clueless and had thought that I was just friends with Amber or something. I walked towards Amber and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to me and smiled. She paused the song she was listening to and took her earphones out of her ears. “What’s up?” She asked me smiling. I sighed and shook my head frowning. “I think I messed up Ambs” I said frowning.

Amber gestured for me to sit next to her so I did. “Does it have something to do with that costume that lay on your bed and that you were so excited to wear?” Amber asked me smiling. I nodded frowning. Amber smiled at me and put her hand on my shoulder. “Yeah What was that T.J you were so excited to wear it but today you left the house wearing something else, wasn’t Cyrus disappointed?” Amber asked me frowning. I nodded giving her a sad smile. “The look on his face made me want to cry” I said frowning. “You probably had a reason do that right?” Amber asked me frowning. “A shitty reason” I said frowning at her “Kira, she knows something is up with me...I think she knows about Cyrus... I think she knows that I’m...g...g...ga...ga” I said struggling to say the word, struggling to come out to my sister. “Gay” Amber said finishing the sentence for me. I nodded frowning at her. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about T.J” Amber said frowning at me “I still love you”.  “But I am embarrassed okay?!?!? What about when mom and dad find out?!? They’ll hate me forever! You know how they feel about this.” I said frowning at Amber. It as easy for her to say...mom and dad didn’t have any reason to hate her forever...she wasn’t gay. “You don’t know what’s it’s like to be terrified of what mom and dad will think about you” I said frowning. Amber shook her head glaring at me. “You’re wrong T.J” Amber said shaking her head frowning. “How so?” I asked her a bit confused. 

“T.J...” Amber said frowning at me “I’m Gay...too”. Amber was gay?!?!?!? She had had multiple boyfriends...and yeah it didn’t seem like she had loved any of them but...this was...unexpected. “You too?” I asked Amber frowning at her. Amber took my hand and smiled at me. “Me too” she said smiling at me. “Who do you like...oh my god do you like somebody I know?!?” I asked smiling at her pleasantly shocked. Amber nodded sheepishly. “You know her” Amber said smiling at me. “Oh my god who is it?” I asked smiling. Amber giggled and shook her head frowning at me. “Well if you’ve got to know...it’s...it’s...Andi” Amber said smiling sheepishly. O.M.G now things made sense. Amber hadn’t been jealous of Andi when Andi and Jonah were dating. She had been jealous of Jonah. “Oh my god” I said smiling at her. Amber nodded smiling. “I didn’t realize that this Hypothetical person you liked and wanted to show that you liked them was the one and only Cyrus Goodman” Amber said smiling at me. “I didn’t realize the girl that you liked was the one and only Andi Mack” I said smiling at her. Amber shook her head giggling. Then her expression turned serious. “But she...I’m...Jonah... I kissed Jonah” Amber said frowning. “What?!?!?!?” I asked shocked. “I kissed Jonah” Amber said again frowning at me. “Andi thinks you’re back together with Jonah?” I asked Amber with a smile. Amber nodded frowning at me. I smiled at her and took her hands in mine. “Hey” I said giving her hands a squeeze “we’re gonna be fine”. “Do you really believe a word that just left your mouth?” Amber asked me frowning. “No...but we will be...we’ve got each other” I said smiling at her. Amber smiled for a second then scowled. “Ugh...yuck enough mushy crap!” Amber said frowning at me. I nodded ageeeing with her. 

From downstairs mom called me and Amber and I went downstairs. Mom and dad smiled at me happily. This was weird...they were happy. Why? “Hey you didn’t tell us you had a beautiful girlfriend!” Dad said smiling at me. “Huh?” I asked dad confused looking at Amber who shrugged smiling at me sadly. I walked closer to the door that mom held open and saw satan herself. Kira. “Hey babe!” Kira said smiling at me. “Do you have to ruin my life every even more?” I mumbled so nobody but Amber and Kira would understand what I was saying. Amber chuckled and Kira glared at her. “Aren’t you happy to see me babe?” Kira asked with a pout. Ugh... I hated her guts. “So...happy” I said frowning. “Oh my god, Kira how about you stay over for dinner?” Mom asked Kira smiling. “Seriously mom?” I asked frowning at my mother. Kira winked at me and blew a kiss at me. I jumped out of the way like it was actually going to touch me or something. “I’m so happy for you bud!” Dad said ruffling my hair. He then looked to Amber and smiled. “Hey why don’t you invite Jonah, you’re boyfriend? This is a happy occasion” dad said smiling. “Ok I hate her guts” Amber whispered to me glaring at Kira who was helping my mom with dinner. Amber then called Jonah and after a while he arrived. “What are you doing here?” Jonah asked me frowning. “I live here” I said frowning at him. “Wait what?...” Jonah asked frowning at me. He looked to Amber then to me. “Oh my god” he said realizing that Amber and I were siblings. “You’re brother and sister” Jonah said shocked. I patted his shoulder smiling at him. “Yep” Amber said smiling at Jonah awkwardly. This was going to be one awkward dinner.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**CYRUS GOODMAN**

 

 

I really didn’t understand why...how T.J could humiliate me like that. But the thing was that it wasn’t even that, that disturbed me most. It was...it was the fact that he had chosen Kira over...me. I really didn’t understand how he could do such a thing to me. He was my best friend, he knew me better than anybody else in the world. And... I trusted him with my life yet...here I was walking home thinking about how I was never going to talk to T.J again. What he did it...it really hurt me. I think... I think I was...I think I was jealous...of...Kira. The fact that maybe Kira liked T.J and felt threatened by our friendship... I mean how could one not like T.J? He was adorable and athletic and sweet when you really really knew him. He was everything you could ever want. He was everything I could ever want. I think I liked him as...more than a friend. I think maybe there was this part of me that thought maybe he felt the same way, but I was wrong. There was no chance for us ever happening. 

I went into my house and ran straight to my room, not stopping to say hello to my dad and stepmom. I realized I was crying when I felt my face and it was wet. I jumped onto my bed and hugged my pillow crying. I was righteously mad at T.J. But I didn’t hate him, hating his was impossible. As much as I tried hating him I just...couldn’t. I felt even more tears rush down my cheeks. My crying had a sound now. It sounded like a wounded seal...and apparently it had caught the attention of my dad who went into my room without knocking. Of course I was stupid enough to leave the door open when I was planning on crying my eyes out. Dad walked towards me and sat in front of me on my bed. “Cyrus what’s wrong bud?” Dad asked me frowning. “It’s nothing” I said trying to wipe the tears that fell one after the other dry. “I could hear you from downstairs you sound like a wounded seal” Dad said frowning at me. I sighed and nodded at him. “It’s...” I said not knowing how to begin. This was it... I was actually coming out to my dad...was this...this was really happening. 

“Dad” I said frowning at him “I...remember that after I tell you this I am still Jewish and will always be. Remember that I was born this way and it’s not something I can change, remember that I love you and you love me too...but I’m just going to go and say it...I’m Gay. And the reason I’m crying like a wounded seal is because... I like someone from school...but I’m pretty sure he’s...not interested in me like that”. The tears just kept rolling down and my vision was very blurry. Dad smiled and wrapped his arms around me. “You are very brave Cyrus...and of course I love you I always will love you, you’re my son and any guy would be lucky to have you” Dad said hugging me. I hugged him tightly and just let the tears fall. I was really lucky to have the family that I did. I knew there would probably be some people in my family that wouldn’t accept me for who I was like dad did. But that didn’t matter that much. I had my dad and that was all I really needed.

“So who is this boy that you like?” Dad asked me trying hard not to cringe. We didn’t talk like this. He would ask me how school was and sometimes we’d talk about the best parts of my day but...that was it really. “His name is T.J, he’s in the boys basketball team. And he’s really sweet once you get to know him. Really a good friend but...today he wasn’t very good of a friend, wasn’t very sweet and I like him, but I know we don’t stand a chance” I said crying. “He’d be foolish not to be interested in you. And what happened that made you a bit angry with him?” Dad asked me frowning. “He did costume day with...Kira this...girl instead of me, and we were really looking forward to our costume so I really don’t understand why” I said crying. Dad hugged me and patted my back. “I bet he had his reasons” Dad said hugging me “I’m going to head downstairs now see what Sharon’s making for dinner”. He then entangled himself from our embrace and smiled at me before leaving my room. 

My instinct was to call T.J and tell him that I had come out to my dad and told my dad about him and it was a success  then coming out to T.J in the process...but right...we weren’t talking. I put my phone down and hugged my pillow again and continued crying. I hated this...I hated liking someone who would never like me back. I hated it and it really hurt. I really liked T.J but he wasn’t someone I wanted to be around right now. 


End file.
